Infidelity in any relationship can destroy the loyal partner from the inside-out, especially if they play the victim card. While it’s true that it takes two to make or break a relationship, it actually just takes one to make the physical leap to becoming a cheating boyfriend (or girlfriend for that matter). So before taking the blame or accepting guilt for being blind-sided by your cheating boyfriend, understand the reasons he may have cheated in the first place so you can recognize the warning signs in the future.
You Have Different Goals
Infatuation can seem like love at first, but that happily ever after you want with your best friend by your side may not be what he wants or needs. Limerence is a deep infatuation bordering on obsessive romantic addiction and it’s not uncommon but it isn’t often discussed. The phase can last anywhere between 18 and 36 months on average. Unfortunately, once the “high” from the phase is spent, the search often continues for the next willing participant to regain that blissful feeling. Note: Limerence can also evolve into a stable and loyal relationship, just be sure you’re on the same page.
He’s Insecure Or Immature
He may simply be too insecure or immature to follow-through with commitment. This is especially true if he’s had mostly short-term flings or dated a lot of women. Some people associate their attractiveness and worth with the number of sexual partners they’ve had. Don’t just trust the word of a serial dater unless you really want to be another statistic. If your gut is nagging you for answers he won’t provide, it may be time to contact a Michigan private investigator to get them for you.
Consider His Influences
Men, especially, reflect the relationship behaviors of their closest peers and life influences. So pay close attention to his upbringing and friendships. According to psychotherapist M. Gary Newman, the author of The Truth About Cheating, approximately 77% of men who do cheat also have close friends who cheat. That’s not to say all or even most men are going to cheat just because they have friends who do. But it’s something to be aware of, especially if that cheating behavior doesn’t seem to bother him. Also, one study has suggested that cheating is twice as common when one of their parents cheated.
He Got Away With It Before
There’s something to the adage “once a cheater, always a cheater.” That doesn’t mean that everyone cheats or that if someone cheats once they’re guaranteed to betray their partner again. However, according to a study presented in 2014 at the American Psychological Association convention in Washington D.C, those who cheat are 350% (or 3.5 times) more likely to repeat the offense compared to those who have never cheated. A lot of factors come into play here, but if he cheated in the past and got away with it in any relationship, that very well may be why he cheated again. Give us a call to connect with the right licensed private investigators at BoyfriendCheck.com when you’re ready to know for sure.