Telling your boyfriend you know he cheated is a huge relief and a life changer for many people. But for others, telling your boyfriend that you know he cheated can be an incredibly difficult conversation to have. Fortunately, there are some simple steps you can take to approach the situation.
Process Your Feelings
Emotions can be overwhelming when it comes to betrayal. So, before having the conversation, take some time to process your feelings about the situation. Take a break from mutual connections, talk to trusted loved ones, or even get some therapy to discuss your feelings with an unbiased professional. It’s normal to feel hurt, angry, betrayed, or confused. Own and accept your feelings. Try to identify how you’re feeling and why, so you can find your inner strength and communicate your feelings to your boyfriend. This will also help ensure he won’t be able to gaslight you or confuse you into instant forgiveness.
Plan Your End of the Conversation
Think about what you want to say to your boyfriend and, more importantly, how you want to say it. Be clear, concise, and direct about what you know and how his actions have impacted you. Try to avoid attacking or blaming language and instead focus on your feelings and the impact of your boyfriend’s actions. Practice your conversation in the mirror and in front of trusted friends if you’re comfortable with that for potentially valuable feedback.
Confirm a Safe and Private Place to Talk
Choose a safe and private place to have the conversation. Make sure he agrees to meet you at the chosen place so you can leave separately if needed. It’s important to have a space where you can speak openly and honestly without fear of interruption or judgment. Avoid your shared household or either separate household. Opt for a private place that’s somewhere near potential public attention if the need arises. A park, outdoor cafe, or friend’s apartment should suffice.
Be Honest and Straightforward
When you start the conversation to disclose your knowledge and intentions, be honest and straightforward about why you want to talk. Let your boyfriend know that you know he cheated and how it has affected you. Allow him to respond and speak in return. Do not interrupt and do maintain eye contact. That’s your strength. When you’re ready to speak again, demand the same respect.
Discuss the Next Steps
After you have had the conversation about what you know, be honest and discuss what needs to happen next or what you’ve decided on your end. You may still need some time to process your feelings, or you may want to work on repairing the relationship. Then again, you may decide to end the relationship. Whatever your decision is, be firm and resolute.
Telling your boyfriend you know he cheated can be a difficult conversation, and your personal and emotional well-being must be prioritized throughout the process. If your intuition is screaming but you just can’t find the evidence, you may need to call in the pros. Give us a call to speak to an experienced private investigator and get the answers you deserve.