Life is full of trials, and anyone can feel like they’re on top of the world when they’re in a healthy and mutually attentive or loving relationship. However, that can all come crashing down when you discover you’re on the receiving end of betrayal. While infidelity is one of the most difficult setbacks for any relationship, it can also lead to positive change. But how can you deal with a cheating boyfriend and regain control of your own life?
Come to Terms with and Accept Your Own Feelings
Once you’re sure of the betrayal, you need to accept those feelings and work towards handling the resulting emotions. No conversations to or about your boyfriend should occur at this point. You’re likely raw and exposed. So make lists, write in a diary, scream into a pillow, and even seek and arrange therapy if necessary to get a grip on your thoughts and emotions. The right therapist can help you end the love/hate cycle and forgive yourself for common oversights. This isn’t the end for you by any means, but
it might be the end of the relationship. Keep in mind the positive ways the upcoming changes may affect your future.
Seek Out or Enlist Your Support Group
Healthy relationships allow and encourage each partner to have friends and interests outside of the partnership. But even if your boyfriend kept you in a metaphorical cage, that doesn’t mean your friends gave up hope. Good friends often remain on the sidelines, waiting to cheer when needed. Contact a couple of trusted friends to vent to and lean on. If your friends are totally unavailable, opt for family, neighbors, coworkers, or even join a trauma or betrayal support group. Start online if necessary and then merge into physical meetings. You need and deserve to be surrounded by people who understand and support you in your time of need.
Plan a Public or Safe Area Meeting to Talk and Ask Him Outright
After you’re certain of the betrayal, you’ve come to terms with all of your feelings, and you’re propped and supported it’s time to arrange a meeting to talk things out with your boyfriend. This should always be the last step for how you deal with a cheating boyfriend, because cheaters are often top-notch liars and manipulators. During your weaker moments, a cheating boyfriend may easily overwhelm you with excuses, play the blame game, or flat-out gaslight you without remorse or backlash. But if you’ve accepted your feelings and found a strong support system, you’re more likely to be ready for the onslaught.
Plan the meeting outside of your joint or individual homes. This should be neutral ground. Bring the evidence if possible–either copies of texts, pictures, or recorded messages you’ve gathered, or evidence a professional has found. And hold your ground. He may have started this mess, but now you can decide how it ends. We’re just a call away if you need to hire a private investigator to get the answers you need and deserve.